Vow Renewal Ceremonies

Excerpt adapted from: Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach

And as you grow up you learn that happiness is not the happiness of great things
It is not the happiness you chase in your twenties, when, like gladiators you fight the world to come out on top
It is not the happiness that you frantically pursue believing that love is all or nothing
It is not the happiness of strong emotions that explode spectacularly with a loud “bang
Happiness is not a skyscraper to be climbed, or a challenge to be overcome by constantly putting yourself to the test
As you grow up you learn that happiness is made up of small but precious things ….
… and you learn that the scent of coffee in the morning is a small ritual of happiness, that the notes of a song, the sensations of a book with colors that warm the heart, that the aromas of a kitchen, the poetry of the painters of happiness, that the muzzle of your cat or dog is enough to feel happiness
And you learn that happiness is made up of tiptoeing emotions, of small explosions that quietly widen the heart, that the stars can move you and the sun can make your eyes shine
And you learn that a field of sunflowers can light up your face, that the scent of spring wakes you from winter, and that sitting and reading in the shade of a tree relaxes and frees your thoughts
And you learn that love is made up of delicate sensations, of little sparks in your stomach, of presences that are both near and far, and you learn that time expands and that those five minutes are more precious and longer than many hours,
And you learn that just closing your eyes, turning on your senses, baking in the kitchen, reading a poem, writing in a book or looking at a photo is enough to erase time and distance and be with the one you love.
And you learn that hearing a voice on the phone, receiving an unexpected message, are small happy moments.
And you learn to have, in your drawer and in your heart, small but precious dreams.

The Art of Marriage, by Wilfred A. Peterson

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created. In marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner; it is being the right partner.

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis De Bernières

Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body.

No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love,” which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

I Like You by Sandol Stoddard

I like you and I know why.
I like you because you are a good person to like.
I like you because when I tell you something special, you know it’s special
And you remember it a long, long time.
You say, ‘Remember when you told me something special?’
And both of us remember

When I think something is important
you think it’s important too
We have good ideas
When I say something funny, you laugh
I think I’m funny and you think I’m funny too
Hah-hah!

…And I like you because when I am feeling sad
You don’t always cheer me up right away
Sometimes it is better to be sad…
I like you because if I am mad at you
Then you are mad at me too
It’s awful when the other person isn’t…

I like you because I don’t know why but
Everything that happens is nicer with you
I can’t remember when I didn’t like you
It must have been lonesome then
I like you because because because
I forget why I like you but I do.