Keep your personal vows personal: some ideas for exchanging vows in private

When you exchange your vows at your wedding, it is often one of the most emotional moments of the ceremony. Holding hands and looking one another in the eye, the covenant of love is sealed; the declaration in public of your personal vows, preparing the way for the ring exchange, is the emotional climax of the ceremony.

Yet for some of you, this very intimate and exciting moment can be a source of great stress and embarrassment. There are many perfectly valid reasons for this. 

Some people simply can’t express their feelings in words; others don’t want to in front of an audience, even when their guests are all people who are very dear to them. Others again envisage their vows as an intimate moment not to be shouted out in public. Some folks are simply shy, and then there are the ones who suffer from anxiety and are scared they’ll freeze or burst into tears when the time comes.

The role of a professional celebrant is to listen, understand the reasons, and accommodate them. Your celebrant will try to set you at ease, and help you write your vows, reassuring you that, at the crucial moment, they will be there by your side to support you with a gesture, a look, or a word. 

Ultimately, however, your celebrant is there to find solutions that work for you as a couple. 

Creating an atmosphere of trust and serenity is a celebrant’s first job and this is why couples generally allow themselves to be led and helped. Any initial moments of doubt or stress can be transformed into an opportunity, a little challenge. Finding the right solution for you as a couple will mean that your vow exchange will probably be one of the most precious and intense memories of your special day, the rest of which might vanish in a whirl of activity.

There are several ways to make sure your vow exchange is everything you ever dreamed of — even though you don’t want to “perform” in front of an audience.