FAQ Funerali - celebranti.com

FUNERALS FAQ

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What is a funeral?

A funeral is a service or observance that takes place after a death and before the burial or cremation. Unlike a commemoration, it is usually held in the presence of the casket. In Italy, it is customary, but not obligatory, to hold the funeral 24 – 48 hours after the death. No matter where it’s held or who celebrates it, a funeral is a structured ceremony, with a beginning, middle and end. It provides mourners with a collective grieving experience and celebrates a life lived.

What is a memorial service?

A memorial service, or commemoration ceremony, is usually held at some point after the death, either in the presence of ashes or without. Commemorations can be held after the cremation (bearing in mind that in Italy the ashes are rarely given back to the family on the same day), before an ash scattering, or on a significant anniversary. Some people hold a commemoration when there was no way to hold a funeral, either because of the circumstances surrounding the death, in the absence of a body, or when family and friends cannot travel (e.g. during Covid restrictions).

Why hold a funeral?

A funeral service, whether religious and traditional or non-religious and more contemporary (a personalized celebration-of-life), has two functions: to acknowledge the death and lifetime achievements of an individual and to bring grieving family members and friends together in support of one another during this difficult time. Anthropologists speak of a funeral as a rite of passage, which affects everyone involved, including the deceased whose social status changes from a living contributing member of the community to one whose contributions live on in other people’s memories. At the same time, the status of those who outlive the deceased – especially the immediate family and other loved ones – also changes. A funeral marks this transition and helps the bereaved begin the process of mourning.

Per chi abbraccia una confessione religiosa, il funerale tradizionale è assolutamente appropriato. Ma celebrare una funzione religiosa in memoria di una persona che non aveva alcuna fede può essere causa per quanti vi assistono di disagio, o addirittura di ulteriore angoscia, proprio perché la cerimonia non riconoscerebbe in pieno il valore unico della vita di quella persona, né il suo volere.

Can we have a non-religious funeral in Italy?

Even though Italy is still predominantly Catholic, there is a marked drift away from one-size-fits-all church funerals to more personalized ceremonies that celebrate and honour a person’s life and achievements. Secular, non-traditional send-offs are increasingly popular in Italy among believers and nonbelievers alike because they afford the freedom to set the tone of the ceremony, tell the story of the deceased’s life by means of a personalized eulogy, dedicate readings or music, and give space to the wider community. Our celebrants are trained and experienced professionals who can help you create a bespoke ceremony for your loved one.

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Where can we hold a non-religious funeral?

Although the majority of funerals are held in a church in Italy, there are alternatives if you are looking to organize a funeral according to a religious tradition. Funeral Homes, with halls that can be used for both religious and non-traditional ceremonies, are becoming more popular but are still quite rare. Crematoria, especially in the north of Italy, have specially-designed spaces where funeral services, blessings, or committals can be held. Some towns and cities —sadly, by no means all — provide a funeral hall (Sala del Commiato) where residents can hold a non-religious funeral at no cost. Certain church denominations —especially the protestant Waldesians who are widely present in Italy—will grant permission to hold a celebrant-led or DIY funeral in their churches without a pastor being present. Owing to the short time-period that is customary in Italy between the death and the expectation of a funeral, some people may opt for simpler solutions such as saying a few words graveside, or decide to wait until later, while scattering the ashes. However, if you want to hold a personalized non-religious funeral to mark the occasion and share your bereavement with your friends and family, a solution can always be found. A secular funeral service allows you the freedom to hold it almost anywhere—in a hotel or other venue, outdoors, even in your own garden— as long as permissions can be obtained. You can ask your Funeral Director to help you with this.

Should we hold a church funeral even if the deceased was a non-believer?

For believers, a traditional church funeral is not only appropriate; it is also beneficial and healing. On the other hand, a religious service in memory of a person who had no faith may cause those attending to feel uneasy, or even increase their distress, precisely because the religious service speaks to religious precepts which the deceased did not hold. Moreover, the church funeral places its faith in the afterlife and does not fully recognize the unique value of the life that has been lived.

Who can conduct a non-religious funeral?

There are no particular legal requirements to fulfil in order to conduct a non-religious funeral ceremony. Family members or friends can do it if they feel up to it, although, because they are close to the deceased, they may be emotional or represent only their own point of view. A professional funeral celebrant is trained to listen to all the different points of view in a family or community. They conduct a family visit and, on the basis of the information they have gleaned, they create an objective portrait of the deceased’s life and give voice to everyone’s feelings, even in situations where there may be conflict. A celebrant will help you plan what you’d like to include in the ceremony and in what order. They will then craft a script, which you will be able to comment on and change until the very last minute. They will then conduct the ceremony professionally at the venue of your choice.

What can we include in a personalized funeral ceremony?

You can include anything you like in a non-religious funeral. You can pick a selection of music—maybe the deceased’s favourite songs—for the beginning, middle and end of the ceremony; you can choose to read, or ask someone else to read, a poem at the funeral, whether it be one that somehow reflects something about the deceased’s character or passions, or one that is special to you; you can share stories of your loved one with the celebrant, who will write a tribute, or eulogy celebrating their life, filled with personal details: you can hold a minute of silence (maybe with some music to focus your thoughts; you may invite other people to say something about your loved one, fostering a sense of community and shared grief; finally, your celebrant can help you find some reflections on life and death that suit your particular life view, whatever it is. Every life has a profound value and is unique. Your celebrant-led funeral service will be absolutely unique and unforgettable.

Can we include any religious or spiritual content in a funeral or celebration of life service?

In a lay funeral there are usually no direct references to any religion and no prayers or blessings. However, if you or the deceased were spiritual in any way, or if you want a reading that is religious, your celebrant can include these elements in the celebration of life service. They may either read the text themselves or ask someone else to read the religious content.

What is the typical order of service in a non-religious funeral?

A typical order of service for a non-religious funeral is broadly similar to that of a traditional service. This is because the function of the early parts of the ceremony prepare for the “heart” of the funeral, which is the committal — when the casket is either taken away by the undertakers, hidden by a curtain or removed in a lift.
The following is a possible outline for a personalized ceremony:

entrance music
opening and welcome
reflections on life and death
life story, tribute to the deceased
dedications from relatives and friends
committal
closing
closing music

How long does a non-religious funeral usually last?

Celebrants are trained to write a script in collaboration with the family that controls the timing of the ceremony, taking into account all the different elements of the service and people’s contributions. Depending on how many people participate and how many elements the family wants to include in the funeral, a celebrant-led ceremony usually lasts from anywhere between a minimum of twenty minutes to a maximum of forty-five minutes.

How should we dress at a non-religious funeral?

There is no dress code and no particular etiquette for what to wear at a funeral, although in some cases the person who has passed away may have previously expressed a preference, or the family may decide to tell guests what to wear (or not to wear). They may want everyone to wear bright colours, for example, or wear something that has a special significance for them, for example a football scarf or a favourite flower. In general, however, unlike in many other countries, in Italy it is not customary to dress formally or wear black to funerals, even in church.

What can we say at a non-religious funeral?

You may wish to share a heartfelt story with a mourning loved one and reminisce about a shared experience. If you’d like to contribute to the ceremony, speak with a family member or the celebrant to see if this is appropriate.

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What is the difference between a priest, a master of ceremonies, an officiant, and a celebrant?

A priest cannot officiate a non-religious funeral. A Catholic funeral is a sacrament and the script of the religious ceremony is not written by the priest but prescribed by the missal. In some cases, especially if the priest knew the deceased, they may include a few basic elements of personalization in their sermons.

A master of ceremonies has the same function as an officiant. They are institutional figures who welcome and accompany families to the funeral hall and read a short ceremony from a compilation of standard texts. Some officiants, especially in crematoria, attempt to personalize their ceremonies but the available time-slots are very short and officiants never conduct a family visit or write a collaborative personalized script.

The role of a professional celebrant role has been defined in an official document: UNI/PdR Reference Practice 118:2021. Published by the Italian Standards Body , it is valid throughout the European Union. A celebrant is defined as follows: “A professional in possession of the knowledge, skills, tools, techniques, levels of responsibility and autonomy to create and manage all aspects that characterize any possible type of ceremony.”

Where can we find a professional celebrant?

Your Funeral Director may be able to tell you where to find a reliable, professional celebrant to help you create, write and deliver your funeral service. The best way to find a professional celebrant near you is to use our search function on this website. All our celebrants have the requisite training and experience. However, celebrants are only responsible for helping you create a heartfelt and unique ceremony. They are not involved in any of the bureaucratic or organizational aspects of the funeral — although they will be able to advise you on the choices available to you. For all practical and legal matters, such as certification, transportation, decorations, and flowers, the family must contact a Funeral Agency of their choice.